I Could Never Do That to a Normal Size Rhinoceros

from Perfect Sleeping Weather by Larry Fulford

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Scrawled into notebooks from the familiar comforts of temporary homes and the passenger seats of mechanically unsound vehicles adrift on the highways and back roads of America, Perfect Sleeping Weather is fifteen years of thoughts, observations, facts, and fictions hammered into a collection of poetry that, according to one reader, "sounds like a sigh."

In this, his first book, writer/drummer/comedian Larry Fulford reflects on the usual -- life, death, love and leaving -- while still managing to name-check Van Halen. Twice.

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lyrics

The lonely planks on a porch long forgotten,
on a road most white people avoid like the black plague,
bend up at the ends, slowly pulling their nails out.
And one day, if we're lucky
we'll see them running down the street together
in an awkward top-heavy hobble.

Tonight I'm going to paint the sky plaid
so that it looks like a shirt I use to have,
and I'm going to wear the hell out of it,
even after I tear the sleeve on a star.

I'm going to put a Van Halen patch over that tear
and think about this shirt the whole way home
to keep from having to count streetlights
or people hunched over in vacant lots,
pushing shopping carts,
with lice breeding on the clothes inside.

If I ever come across a dead rhinoceros
I will not cut the horn from its face
even if that’s all I need to finish a life-size model
of a rhinoceros I’ve been working on.